Monthly Archives: February 2009

Lesson #11: How to tell if someone is a vampire.

Living in New Orleans, zombies and vampires are both serious threats.  And its very easy for zombies and vampires to blend in to the insanity here, looking just like everyone else.  This lesson helps prevent any problems with vampires before they start.  First, assess any possible signs of vampirism, like pale skin or pointy teeth.  In the case of Muppet vampires, look for pinkish/purple-ish skin and pointy ears. Muppet vampires actually come from the planet Vulcan.  Also check if the person seems awfully interested in blood.  Dexter on Dexter would be a strong candidate for vampirism, despite his golden tan.

The big test, however, occurs in the doorway to your house.  If someone knocks on your door, and you think the person may be a vampire, just leave the door open and walk into your kitchen.  If the person follows, he or she is just rude, but not a vampire.  If the person just stands at the door, waiting for you to invite her or him in, the person may be a vampire.  In order to prevent vampire violence, it is best to never invite anyone in, not even Muppets.

Count Von Count, a flexible vampire

Count Von Count, a flexible vampire