Monthly Archives: June 2012

Sorry, I couldn’t help but post this. And it makes me wonder why there are so few animal sci-fi heroes. There are the Cat People in Dr. Who, and of course the Wookies. Who else.

Lesson #17: How to tell if you’re becoming a werewolf.

I was asked to write this one, and it’s taken a little research. The first question you should ask yourself, and yes,  this may be the biggest question, is, “Have you been scratched or bitten by a large creature recently?” If not, there’s almost no chance you’re becoming a frightening puppy.

If you answered “yes” to the first question, inquire as to your habits around the full moon. Ask others, since you may have blacked out during that time.  If your brother saw you turn into a gangly wolf and eat someone, then yes, you are a werewolf.  If not, ask if you have a pattern of disappearing around the full moon  or getting uncharacteristically irate.

This leads to the third issue. In both Twilight and Being Human, is feeling a little “wolfie.” Is it harder to control your temper? Are you more inclined to follow your baser instincts? You could just be going through puberty or need anger management classes, but don’t forget to add “becoming a werewolf” to the possibilities.

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This is Josh from the U.S. Being Human. He’s feeling a little wolfie.

 If you follow Twilight, one key seems to be body temperature. Do people keep telling you that you have a fever? Has anyone been burned by your touch recently? Both should signal concern.

The fifth alarm bell in werewolfery is appetite.  Have you been a vegetarian for years, but suddenly need a bloody steak?  Maybe you’re just low on iron, maybe not.

If you do find you’re a werewolf, get help, seriously.

This is my assessment, dear readers. Come on, let me know what I’ve missed. I am humble in my limited knowledge.

Lesson # 16: If your task requires the use of multiple levers/buttons, the last one will jam.

I know I’ve found a lesson when I know exactly what will happen in a show before it actually happens. Years of sci-fi watching has programmed me to figure such things out.  While watching this week’s episode of Eureka (“In Too Deep”), that’s what happened. Lesson 16  applies especially when life or death is at stake. But hey, it’s sci-fi. When isn’t life or death at stake?

Cast photo from Eureka Season 3

In Eureka, Carter and Allison were about to drown in a submarine. It was filling with water. He needed to pull four levers in order to release their compartment from the rest of the sub and save their lives. I could tell how this was going to go.  In one breath, he swam down to the bottom and pulled two levers. That seemed easy. In another breath, he opened the third. However, the fourth lever was stuck. Allison swam down to help him (I have no idea why she wasn’t doing that already. They could have had all the levers down in half the time. Perhaps I need another lesson, “Even strong women are eventually feeble.”). They pulled the lever, illustrating that of course they work better as a team. I’m not trying to say that Eureka is predictable, as I’m so sad it’s leaving.  Ultimately, wouldn’t you have been disappointed if it went any other way and violated this lesson?